Today makes exactly 1 week that my son has been hospitalized (again) and I have told less than a handful of people. I just don’t have the energy anymore to update people on every single thing that goes wrong cause it gets exhausting. To be honest, I don’t want to talk about Cancer 24hrs a day. I don’t mind updating any one who asks but I won’t volunteer the information because I don’t want to be a “Debbie Downer” so I just keep it to myself & go about my daily life like nothing’s wrong.
I remember when my youngest was first diagnosed with Autism. That was an incredibly difficult journey for my family. Before he was diagnosed we didn’t know what was wrong with him. We didn’t know if he was deaf or just had a learning disability. The daily high pitch screaming, violent meltdowns, sleepless nights drove me into the deepest depression of my life and at that point I had to seek profession help for myself. After my son was properly diagnosed & began receiving therapy, I started coming to terms with our new life. I delved into my inner creative self and began writing randomly in a notebook. I would observe my son, wonder what he was thinking and just write endlessly. Years later, I decided to write a book written in his viewpoint. My book was published 6 years ago and that’s a part of me I don’t talk about. I did it for myself. It was therapeutic & I wasn’t looking for glory amongst my friends.
Everyone has a hidden self they don’t disclose just because. I throw myself into writing cause that’s where I bury my pain and Yoga lets it slowly come out. My pain is something I try to work through. Keeping extremely busy is therapeutic. I try to remain optimistic but I’m aware of my truths. Everyone has a chapter they don’t read out loud are you aware of yours?