“I don’t know how my body stays together when my soul is completely broken”

broken soul

I have never experienced so much pain & grief as I have in the past 72hrs.

When my son was admitted into the hospital 2 weeks ago I thought this would be another typical lung drain like every other admission but it wasn’t. We were waiting every day for him to get discharged but every day they kept finding more & more wrong with him. Every day it was another scan, another procedure then another scan & another procedure. Each day his condition grew progressively worse. His request for pain meds grew more frequent until the Doctor told me that the Cancer was too far advanced for any kind of treatment to be effective at this point. Now the scary part was telling him. The Doctor went into the room to advise him of the next pain treatment protocol. He asked the doctor that dreaded question; “Am I gonna die?” The Doctor told him his prognosis wasn’t good and that he probably wouldn’t survive but would be kept comfortable & pain free. He was terrified and I was heartbroken! The Doctor was extremely compassionate and had a long talk with my son about life in general.

David is now on heavy pain medication resting comfortably and we are just waiting for him to enter the next phase. This is torture. I will forever be broken.

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A negative mind will never give you a positive life. I choose to promote what I love. I choose to see the bright side in every situation.

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